


Regrets of Yesterday

by evs14u



Series: Being in Love with Rafael Barba [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Barba and you, Based on an Adele Song, F/M, Fluff, Oneshot, Sad Ending, This is will be a series, When We Where Young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 09:25:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5962264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evs14u/pseuds/evs14u
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You had come so far, yet one look made all that hard work come undone. You and Barba meet after years of being apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets of Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> So I put this on Tumblr but I wanted to also put it on Ao3 to see if I could get more feedback. 
> 
> This is for @procrastdanation she asked for this so long ago, and I finally did it, I hope it is everything you wanted it to be. 
> 
> Prompt: A request, if it can happen. Maybe something based on When We Were Young by Adele?

The evening had been wonderful, it was wonderful to experience tonight after all the hard work we had put it in.” I thought sipping my champagne flute absently .Yet in my heart, I knew that he was here and that if I didn’t see him the evening would feel like a failure. I hated him tonight for that reason, everything tonight had been about their accomplishments about what I and my colleagues had worked so hard for. All he had to do was, show up I had avoided him throughout the formal part of the evening upon my arrival to the ball I had glimpsed him and even though I didn’t want to admit he had seen my too and god he had looked good I knew he would look this good I had hoped that America had fattened him up or his face had crumbled but no ofcourse not he still looked as good as he did all those years A woman with big golden brown curls and an amazing black dress stepped up to the mike and announced that this would be the last song and dance. I knew it would be my last chance I walked down to the dancefloor my champagne flute forgotten on some faraway table. I was right behind him, god who knew that tapping someone on the shoulder would be this hard, without a second thought I reverted back to my knock from all those years ago. I did my customary three taps and stopping his conversation and turned around when his green eyes matched mine it was like our history bubbled to the front.

“Hi” I said wringing my hands.

“Hello, this is such a big win with your campaign moving up and up I really think that Sen. Leight is the best choice, and you look great”

“Thank you same to you, wanna dance?’ I asked knowing I needed to be close to him again.  
“Last call wasn’t that our signature move” he answered quirking a smile.  

He led me onto the floor, and the band struck up a slow cord, he took my hips in his big warm hands and I felt safe again, I breathed out and it felt like I had been holding it  for years. The woman with the large curls started singing.

_“Everybody loves the things you do_

_From the way you talk to the way you move_

_Everybody here is watching you”_

In my inner eye i saw the blood on my hands, a mashed whiskey glass on the floor, and i heard the faintest tinkle of Schubert’s Ave Maria. To avoid Rafael seeing the tears that had just formed in my eyes, I buried my face into his neck, smelling that strong cologne that smelled like the sun on itls last rides of the autumn wind.

“Are you ok?” he asked swaying us slightly more.

“Yeah I am fine, it’s just it’s been a long couple of months to get here and it hasn’t been the easiest path.” From far away I heard…

_“Cause you feel like home_

_You’re like a dream come true_

_But if by chance you’re here alone_

_Can I have a moment before I go?_

_‘Cause I’ve been by myself all night long,_

_Hoping you’re someone I used to know._

Broken windows, half packed bags, and my own tear stained face flashed before my eyes.I decided then and there that I was determined to find out more about his current life.

“So how are you?” I said pushing those images into the back of my mind.

“Just like that?” he asked surprised “no pretense now how is the job, or is your mother doing well?”

“I never needed pretend with you” I said unintentionally, knowing it was the truth.   

’ _Cause you feel like home_

_You’re like a dream come true_

“Sometimes I wonder what we did wrong I mean we did have it all” I said deciding it was now or never.  

“Charlotte we wanted different things in life, you were on the cusp of professional greatness and I was ready to settle down to build a life.”

“Maybe but I still think we would have been great

great.

_My God, this reminds me._

_Of when we were young_

_Let me photograph you in this light_

_In case it is the last time_

_That we might be exactly like we were_

_Before we realized_

_We were sad of getting old_

_It made us restless_

“I am sorry I didn’t come back” he said his face etched with sorrow.  

“you shouldn’t have had to” I responded honestly “I was ready I was just afraid I would loose everything I had worked for, and that you reacting to my loss would find another girl that was more interesting.”

_I was so scared to face my fears_

_Nobody told me that you’d be here_

_And I swear you moved overseas_

_That’s what you said, when you left me_

“Did you ever find what you needed” it was vital for me to know.

Yes, Marina and I got married about 5 years ago.” The realization that he had moved on felt like a literal knuckle punch to the gut.  

_Let me photograph you in this light_

_In case it is the last time_

_That we might be exactly like we were_

_Before we realized_

_We were sad of getting old_

_It made us restless_

“Sadly, in a cruel twist of fate Marina realized that she wasn’t right for me and found another man.”

_It’s hard to admit that_

_Everything just takes me back_

_To when you were there_

_To when you were there_

_And a part of me keeps holding on_

_Just in case it hasn’t gone_

Taking a leap of faith I asked “I guess I still care. do you still care?”

He smiled sadly at me as if he wanted to convey both sorrow and pity. “I think tonight we should stick to our signature”   

_Let me photograph you in this light_

_In case it is the last time_

_That we might be exactly like we were_

_Before we realized_

_We were sad of getting old_

_It made us restless_

_Oh I’m so mad I’m getting old_

_It makes me reckless_

_It was just like a movie_

_It was just like a song_

_When we were young_


End file.
